Happy Earth Day (after)...but every day should be....

.
The energy of the last few days has been wreaking havoc on my body, I've had nausea, almost flu-like symptoms and overnight I gained 5 lbs!?!? I had never been over 150lbs ever...not even 9 mos. pregnant...I've also never been vain about it or obsessive with my diet or dieting. BUT.... I feel the energy pulsing and shifting my molecules. I have found the ascension symptoms of the last 15 months to be very intense for this Earthgirl- it's interesting tho that the only earth I have in my chart is my Sun and that is in the 5th, a fire house. I find the solar heat of change turning my body into a little inferno. At first I felt that it was perhaps the movement into being a Crone, it is in part, I'm sure, but I also believe that is my movement into being the Healer in practice that I've avoided the naming (not the doing of)...the advent of my Aquarius Chiron return which is natally is exactly opposite my Leo moon in the 8th had demanded that I pay attention to the alchemicalization of this aspect and transcend the intuitive healing into conscious active form.

My dreamspace, always extremely fertile and precognitve has been working overtime. Many stories that I've been given since Feb of '84 were from that space and as I revisit them I see that on high I've been going through my own (re)initiations back to my old knowledge. I'll put some of these stories on another time. Now working with dreamtongue, I realize where I've been headed.
-from last July....
{The other morning, prior to checking my e-mail I woke from a very disturbing and precognitive feeling dream. I was with a group of people in a small very old hotel that I knew to be overlooking San Francisco Bay. We were looking out at the bay through large beautiful windows, the clerestory windows, sparkling stained glass, the sunlight glistening of the deep blue of the bay. Suddenly a white hot blast and everything imploded; the panes now were whirling scimitars of colored light slicing at everyone in the room, the beauty outside had turned to a murky dusty black darkness and that energy had me reeling.
I, however, was inside the energy,almost in a timeless stillness, while all around me was chaos and weeping and blood droplets floating in space. I watched the world trying to make sense of this cataclysm. I found myself formulating a plan of action that would rescue and heal.
I woke up very upset that I had only stood inside the pain and I felt there was going to be something very horrific happen to San Fran. Then I received e-mails ad nauseum on the call to cancel the grid. I let an old fear and guilt based on old lifetimes where I could do nothing to stop cataclysmic change cause a knee-jerk reaction......... }

I had long subscribed to the belief that if I could think it , I could create it and had seen evidence of it throughout my life. I'd also always believed how one correct action would shift all others. My mother and I have discussions (read: arguments) about this all time, my "holographic universe" versus her" world going to hellinahandbasket". She knows that I've quit feeding the energy of what's going on, but insists on calling in the Political Weather Reports- ironic as I was the highschool SDSter- and she started to get me riled up again. This coupled with new job in restaurant where the one TV(thank God(dess)one only ) is always on sports or catastrophies and they're wearing down my resolve to not participate. So why was I buying into this control/ paranoia? I don't know, what I do know was being in that energy made me sick, literally.

This morning I sent this mail to my brother, George at Centreoflight: All night long was lucid dreaming, I actively felt light work healing being done on other dimensional levels of which I consciously invited them to continue. Many colors of light in all forms. This has occurred before with one small?! difference at around 4:30or so AM. Your face floated into the dreamspace much like the head of the Wizard of Oz (but much sweeter..lol) I then felt- not just mind-felt- this electrified blue-white (the closest I can describe it visually is like when you light a sparkler and the sparks are like a million grains of "light" rice) I felt the energy erupt from my heart chakra and cascade like a fountain of electrified water. What a lovely shivery experience; next I saw spinning like a Buzby Berkley musical from the '30's images of a beautiful carpet of yellow geometric florals outlined in blue on a red field spinning like when I do spins in dancing dervish-like and you find a place "to spot" so's not to get dizzy.

Anyway after my light bath, dervish dance, ultimately I have decided that my heart and soul are not for sale to the highest bidder, the slickest spiritual sales pitch nor the doomsday naysayers. I know that I will come from a pure heart,open mind and soul because all the million grains of light bathing our beloved Gaia can only inundate her with love, as the Nile did the desert, year after year offering rebirth. That is my highest trust.

back to July-a sideorder of "psychic interpretation...
{It is interesting when you think of interpretation of psychic info , because what my initial reaction of horror may not be that. It was the same when I knew I'd have a son, who would be called Ariel, and I knew he was Aquarian tho the midwife said I be lucky to make it to the beginning of Jan , but I knew 2/5 , I was only wrong in that what I thought to be 5 Feb was really 25 Jan and on that day my beautiful Ariel (Hebrew for 'lion of God' and one of the moons of Uranus) was born shortly after I declared watching the Dr.Who movie" The Daleks invade Planet Earth in 2027" to be " this is the stupidest idea I've ever heard!"..... I"ve received mails likening the fearmongers of the Grid/Ascension/Evolution to the Daleks and I had to laugh...he was born 5 minutes before the Leo full moon.
I guess the long and short of what I now feel the dream to be was that many will not understand what occurs, but we must move inside those whirling scimitars, beautiful rainbow arcs and send them out to those who only see misery, anger, dismay... "I can sing a Rainbow..." }





Alright enough rambling. this cheeky Monkey's going back to bed....alone...... DRAT.

love as always,
lulu

Of the 5 or 10 books I'm currently reading...yeah,I'm a geek... I'm quite engrossed right now in "Souls in the Sea, Dolphins, Whales and Human Destiny", Scott Taylor. My first telepathic conversations were with my dolphin brothers that would swim up the Wakulla River from the Gulf where I went crabbing as child at Fort De San Marcos. Talk about a place that has 'silent conversation', history layered deep upon itself. It's one of my power places to this day.

I was nine when my folks returned to the South; we'd spent the previous three in Albuquerque and the Bay area. The move was tough for me. I was really bright, kinda mischievous, very artistic, but still a little shy. Messages had been coming to me all my life, much of which scared the bejesus out of most kids...and adults. I'd finally found kids in CA that were "on my same wavelength" and next thing I knew my dad ( a journalist) was moving us to Tallahassee (Bay area '65 to redneck, racist capitol - I was 37 when I forgave them ...

Anyway, my new school wanted to place me in the 6th grade, instead of 4th, my good Catholic parents saw "kids in puberty! we can't have that!!!!!" So they made up my classwork from 6th curriculum so I could still feed my blossoming exuberance for learning, but stay with my"peers" and I, with my lil sag rising self said, "ok we'll have fun, make new friends"....but I got labeled "egghead". The next couple of years were torture. I ended up in the 5th with a group "The Five Finks" equally bright, but vicious, -way too many smart, pretty girls in one class in '66- kinda vicious. One girl in particular, Caroline, British, brilliant, eventual Rhodes Scholar found me 'dangerous'. No longer "egghead" I became Iota Tau - IT...

Long and short of it, I became extremely withdrawn, depressed, verging on suicidal- walked around three weeks with pneumonia, didn't want to tell anyone how I was feeling. I was close to dying. Good news was I was given a choice then to stay or go, I had many dreamspace conversations on why I was here and that ultimately my soul chose to stay....or how I came to know my cetacean "brothers". All that time out of school to recuperate I had a marine band radio and really connected in a disembodied way to the "world" not unlike the "virtual" one we have now really, and crabbing at the Fort de San Marcos. That was the place my "brothers" taught me some of where I was to go on this soul's journey. I'd sit on a big limestone rock and they'd swim up the river and speak with me- at a distance sometimes of only 10-15 ft. They began to help me remember that I was a traveler and a seeker. And they loved me.

I could always call them to me. I still do that now. It wasn't until many years later I found out how unusual it was for them to swim the 17 miles up a springfed river.... My dad, at one point, tried to sneak up around the point taking photos of a "conversation" all that really came out in the darkroom was one... the only photograph taken of me @ 15 that I liked.

They'd send me such a surge, giddy, exhilarating, happy love vibe I felt "home". I believe our brothers are with us to show us ultimately joy, community of spirit, playful comraderie, TRUST- how to truly BE HERE NOW. I know that for myself, the more I can be in Nature everyday helps me center and focus with a smile in my heart.

One thing I've never had the opportunity to do in 3d (I have many, many times in Dreamspace) is to play with them in their beautiful weightless world. Have you ever seen the film "the Big Blue" with Jean-Marc Barr? Check it out, It truly shows the love that exists between us all, but with a caveat- we don't have to abandon our dry world of pragmatism, but temper it with the purity of fluid love. And there you find the Dolphin mind, both sides of brain working in perfect union. I feel that if we tune ourselves into the "organics" of our world, our interconnectedness with love, innocent joy and and sincere desire for community we are learning our lessons well.


Astrolabe
Capsized into that watery wasteland once more,
belljar faulty. Breath short,
no one topside to rescue,
then remind me of past
hard times at sea.
Tossed by tidalwave emotions
tumbled and dashed on cliffsides
of Black and White.
All around me, the seawater,
grey-green saline sting,
I've only my moral compass
to point my path.
Galileo, Copernicus endured
moral outrage,
dared to defy society's conventions that
the world lay flat before them.
Round after round they
held fast to
their heretical defiance...
now we've a seine of submarine
fibers globally communicating
nothing but 'net.


The Point
Tires crunch on limestone gravel.
Greys, ivories and green
greet my return.
The path, mulch-strewn,
draws me through cypress and pine,
past the fortifications of other soul's lives.
History stacked upon itself
in the shade of live oaks
nd spanish moss.
You can smell the salt-
feel the mists from two rivers
that seek their source.
Two paths converge,
converge and rise to
a lone cypress,
wind gnarled,
on a small bluff.
My feet travel backward
two score minus ten to
deerskin boots,
drawn to the rim,
scrabbling softly down limestone,
grabbing past the roots,
downward to the creamy rocks below
nestled in a rooted crook, t
to speak with my family.
I watch and wait for their tidal return.
Feel the wind,
listen to the rushes and sea birds.




Blessed BE,
lulu

from two letters to those I hold dear, teachers of this soul's path...

I have been working on "The Book of Storms- Dreamtongue", empathic language, the last couple of weeks. I feel that I may have stumbled upon what I'm to do. I always knew of my Empathic nature, but I had never truly realized the depth with which I functioned in it. It seems to have for me unlimited healing/teaching applications ...and guess what I'm being disciplined-kind of.....lol. I felt much peace when I began to focus from this perspective, It was an AHA moment for me , I had sighted a place to land.

http://mysilentecho.com/dreamtongue1.htm

had a grest conversation with George day before yesterday he sent me this link:


Steve Rother for April. He talks about practicing spectrum viewing, scanning for your soul's possible parallels. Decided to experiment consciously with it- since in my dreamspace I know I do it unconsciously all the time.

I had a great time visiting Tommy, a jeweler of magic pendants made from shell and stone, who had a penchant for wearing of bright button-down shirts, crazy ties and blue jeans, lived in a 60's style bungalow painted the color of the sky inside as it was really an aviary filled with birds, one was a bird of paradise, I am Nancy there and have two teenaged children we visited Tommy, who lives on a beach too. (I've written previously of my parallel life in a coastal town.) one of the birds looked like this:
http://www.dacardworld.com/itemimages/8th-birds-paradise.jpg

Last night, I also moved through some pretty scary places. It seemed the Endtimes that people are fearing, wandering bands of militia -like looters. Living in a garage of house because it was easier to have power from a generator. Looked like some place with very large homes that were up on wooded hillsides. One home, terracotta colored, had looters living there. You could see bonfires on the terrace and sounds of drunken laughing and fighting. We had a large TV and odds and bods of furniture, kind of hunkered down trying to keep a low profile...left that reality quickly and decided this was not a world my soul wanted to inhabit.

I've also experienced much weirdness of late, I think in part, it's beginnings of menopause, gotta become the Crone eventually...lol, but also in my healing work I've been focusing on heart chakra. I've had a cavalcade of old loves parading through my dreamspace, really working on inner-child issues of abandonment. I found a common denominator in all, from my fathers, grandfather, all my former lovers, save one,was a communication Black Hole, emotional silent treatment; always been very emotional and open, that cancer venus and leo moon gets me every time. It scared me when I realized that I felt a deep abiding love and connection with certain others and I had a knee-jerk reaction to silence that really forced me to come to terms with feeling alone.

I've never hidden myself from emotions nor let them turn me into puddles of tears. I was well-trained in not letting them leak out and not saying exactly what I experience. Yep, that's why it was "safe" to be a poet. I could drown or swim as the situation dictated and it was in my private language. A private language that I thought was only mine until I found the Book of Storms. Then I felt a safe harbor. I've had my fair share of trials and tribulations in this life so far and have finally come out the other side.

The last 8 years, I've walked through my own and other's fires and demons, trying to heal my core issues, so I could finally say, in good conscience, that I was to be a healer and not just the chance-met conversation that helps someone or myself in need. So, at 52 (May15th) I'm grateful for Jad's work and in that respect I AM home.

Blessed BE,
lulu

Yesterday I read the message from our Mother Quan Yin on Soul Connections.

This is an open letter to the Other, Soulmate, Twin Flame or to any who move you towards yourself...

 

I am an Empath,you know. I can sense your tidal movements towards the shore and back again, as if they were a film of this vast sea playing before my eyes in darkened theater on a sunny afternoon.

I am drawn to you as the shore is to that sea, but think I also understand the essence of that primordial relationship, to be a touchstone, never a container, earth giving reference to sea and sky's seemingly boundary-less existence.

But there are countless shores, it seems, each sensing their deep connection to this virtual sea, this film playing out to unseen eyes in darkened theaters on sunny afternoons.

The sea says "it's my nature, this dance with shore and sky, I can no more count the grains of sand, than I can hold on to the sunbeams that sparkle or the phosphourescent glow of the moonbeams on my inky depth..."

I feel we have danced this dance more than once or twice or too many times to count. What that means exactly is as unfathomable to me as the very sea that draws me.

It's said you're drawing your soul's family together. To what purpose? In this timeless time of overlap, pastfuturepresent, the many permutations of connection are boggling.

Yesterday, when the ionic charge of the air had my skin crawling with electricity,  the fluid in my body roiled and raged against the boundary of my skin,  maybe also, in anticipation of the equinox, that point of balance, tidal rising, seeking equilibrium.  I was lost in this great elemental battle of heart/mind/soul.  I realized I've spent my lifetime in longing for this Other, who like the sea was equally illusive and uncontained.

So these words, from past, from tomorrow, I send to you;

a bit of Rilke, too, to set the stage for this leg of my soul's journey.....what he says so succinctly,  please bear with my own fumblings...

I love the dark hours of my being in which my senses drop into the deep.

I have found in them, as in old letters,

my private life, that is already lived through,

and become wide and powerful now, like legends.

Then I know there is room in me for a second huge and timeless life.

But sometimes I am like the tree that stands

over a grave, a leafy tree, fully grown,

who has lived out that particular dream, that the dead boy

(around whom its warm roots are pressing)

lost through his sad moods and his poems.

 

(written to my Animus/2007)

Tesseract

 

You have wooed me and won me.

Now the Tesseract has wrinkled  time/distance

and I wait. Soon,

too soon, not soon enough, equilibrium lost,

when we face to face to

head to heart to breath to

breath to soul to soul

BE.

My pupils, deer in headlights,

dilate and a thousand stars explode behind my retina.

My mouth, full of sand, when I want roses.

Roses, ah roses,

seduction of scents, senses and intentions.

They bud, unfold and die,

pressed to chest to

book, each a posey sent.

White: purity, love undefiled

Yellow: friendship sought

Pink: fondness exposed

Red: red of beauty, heart,

red of blood, Red of undying love.

But those roses, those roses

in their seduction,  in reaching for the impossible,

that just beyond your grasp,

you strain your reach for perfection.

Pierced, the flesh,

the soul, a single drop of life

lived perfectly unfolds;

a bud, a blossum, a Rose,

pressed to  chest,  in a book,

a posey sent to you from me.

 

and finally... (written for my son, SQ after his first bout of unrequited)

Cruel April

 

Words, poseys sent winging.

No recall, no indian-give, no take-backs.

What's said is said.

Caution, wind thrown like die

and I wait.

Wait for the subtle hum,

the Marconi buzz of signals sent and received.

I read you loud

and clearly you didn't mean

to be so intimate with a stranger.

Familiar stranger, who sent no audible syllables

connecting thee to me,

but spoke volumes by

intimation of my soul's longing.

Could be fooled,

playing one.

April 2001

 

So take these ramblings with a grain of salt, precious commodity,

the common denominator of the sea and the shore.

love,
lulu